We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

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We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Post by Termínator™ on Wed Nov 23, 2011 8:01 am

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. There are our rules:-

Please note.... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.
...
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what Mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. if we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing’, we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, its like camping.


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Re: We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Post by Guest on Wed Nov 23, 2011 5:23 pm

* Breasts are a mammal thing. Just like cows udders.

* If my man had a headache for 17 months, i'd start to wonder what was wrong with ME

* Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.


* If you're in a bad mood, we're going to assume it's our fault. So, tell us what's bothering you.


* Don't act like a big shot to impress us. It always backfires.


* Sunday is usually the only day we can relax. Be flexible about the all-day sports rule.


* Pay attention. We like to give clues. "Susie and Bob tried a great
new restaurant" means "Why don't you ever take us anywhere nice?"
but if we were to ask you to take us, you accuse us of nagging.

* Would it kill you to mark our birthday, anniversary and Valentine's Day on your calendar?


* If we wanted to check our own oil, rotate our own tires, change our own fuses and put stuff on the highest shelf, we'd be men.


* We'll stop faking it if you'll stop asking us.


* We'll never bug you to stop and ask for directions if you'll just figure out in advance how to get where we're going.


* Yes, it's true. Sometimes we like to call up and talk about nothing. Get used to it.


* PMS is a medically recognized condition. It's not in our heads.


* We care nothing about monster trucks, car systems, stereo systems or paint ball. We're just pretending.


* The kissing must never stop.


* We have no intentions of shaving our legs everyday.


* Don't make bets about us; we always find out.


* We will always think we're fat. Would it kill you to tell us we're not?


* We will never pick a fight with you while you're doing the laundry or the dishes or washing our car.


* Don't ask for our phone number if you don't intend to use it within 48 hours.


* Don't blame us for the sins of your ex-wives and girlfriends.

* If we don't laugh, it doesn't mean we don't get it--we get it- -it means it's not funny.


* If you ask us where we'd like to go on a date, don't pout when we tell you.


* Don't count our shoes and we won't count your Playboys


* If you've finished the toilet paper, replace the roll. We bet you can figure out where we keep it.


* If you ask us what's wrong and we say nothing, ask us again. And this time, look sincere


* We are not nags, it's just that you never do what we ask the first time.


* Real men run dishwashers.


* And dust.


* Inviting us to come over to watch you watch sports is not a date.


* If you hold our hand in public, it doesn't mean you're whipped.


* No one dies of a cold

* If it itches, wash it. Aftershave does not equal soap. Soap is your friend

* If you would compliment us on a regular basis, we would stop
asking you if we look fat and if other girls are prettier than we are.


* If you only knew how much getting flowers for no reason means to
us, you would do it and your life would improve exponentially.


* What's the deal with the baseball cap? You're bald. Get over it.


* If you compare us to your mother, we'll compare you to our father. And you'll come up short


* When you send us flowers, always send them to the office.


* Only the worst kind of a pig stares at other women when he's with us. We look at other men, but we do it discreetly.


* When no one's home, stand in front of a mirror and practice this until you can say it in public, "I was wrong."


* After you've mastered that, work on, "I'm sorry."


* We are neither your mother nor your maid.
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Re: We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Post by Termínator™ on Wed Nov 23, 2011 7:26 pm

Thats why opposites attract........ cheers



btw, look at the size of your list compared to the one i posted oooof lol


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Re: We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Post by Guest on Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:29 pm

that's because men do more things wrong Wink
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Re: We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Post by Termínator™ on Sat Dec 03, 2011 6:47 pm

Depends what sex is the judge study lol


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